Do I Have a Split Personality… or Just a Hobby Problem?!
Not to be dramatic, but when you pick up a new hobby do you fully become that hobby? Let me explain…
Earlier last year I decided I wanted to change my life… be a healthier version of myself. So naturally I started counting calories, eating smaller, whole meals, signed up for the gym, purchased thousands of dollars in workout gear and supplements, and followed a bunch of health influencers on Instagram and TikTok to be surrounded by the entire aesthetic of working out and being a healthy person.
It wasn’t enough to just “go to the gym.” No. I had to be the gym.
When I didn’t lose 100 pounds in 3 months, I gave up.
Then I fully dove into grad school. Again, I purchased expensive tech, stupid t-shirts that say I am in grad school, started putting out content on TikTok that was all about me going to grad school and why you should too! While I am still on the way to graduating later this year, being a grad student is no longer my entire personality and honestly I love it that way, for my mental health of course.
Eventually I found Pilates. You know the story by now… I now own thousands of Pilates socks and equipment that Lord knows is collecting dust at this point. I do love Pilates and the overall aesthetic of being a “Pilates princess.” I promise you though I still hate matcha and I promise to not convert. I honestly think you are all faking your love for it, but I digress.
It reminds me of when I was a 14-year-old girl and I went to a school where all the hype was Avril Lavigne and the entire skater scene. I fully dove in - so clearly I have always been this way. I only dressed in black and discovered my favorite makeup item to this day… black eyeliner. While I still carry a little bit of that girl in me, I realize I do not have to dress like that to express what I truly like. Nonetheless, while I still have my membership to the overpriced gym, am still a student, and am still going to Pilates, I realize I do not have to fully become that person.
All of my hobbies always seem to completely change my social media algorithm, and frankly after so many personalities my algorithm is starting to look like a default page.
And maybe that’s the point. Maybe I don’t have a split personality. Maybe I just romanticize growth. I love the idea of reinventing myself. I love diving in headfirst. I love the fresh start energy of a new hobby, a new routine, a new aesthetic.
The problem isn’t that I try new things, it’s that I think I have to become them entirely.
But maybe the real personality is the girl who tries. The girl who experiments. The girl who evolves.
And maybe that’s enough…
P.S Now I have become the girl who blogs. <3
